Is waiting what life is all about?

Waiting…..

I sometimes feel like I spend my whole life waiting.

Waiting to grow up, to get my license, to leave school, leave home, leave town.

Waiting to get out of bad relationships and in the the “right one”. Waiting to get married, to get pregnant, waiting for babies to be born. Waiting for kids to get up, get dressed, eat, brush their teeth, go to bed.

Waiting in lines, on phones, at check outs, in car parks…. waiting for the weekend (so I can spend time with the kids), waiting for the weekdays ( so I can get rid of the kids and focus on work – what is that about?).

Waiting for people on the phone, for the right help, for someone to help me. Waiting for browsers to refresh, for applications to work on my computer (or not), for the latest software, latest phone, latest social media app.

Waiting to hear about whether our charity won a grant or not, if sponsors are back on board, or not, will we survive?

Waiting for my kids to be toilet trained, sleep in their own beds, start school, finish school, get home safe. Waiting to go on holidays, waiting to get home again.

Waiting for my blood glucose to go up, to go down, to settle down, waiting for a cure…….endless waiting.

People have said I am “impatient”. So what does that mean? That I am not good at waiting? Given the amount of waiting I do, I beg to differ.

While waiting for an application I was trying to edit my Facebook pages with to work today, over and over again, with multiple browsers open on multiple tasks all at once, it got me to thinking about waiting.

Is waiting just the fill in time between what we DO in life? Between where we are and where we want to be or go? Or is waiting the point of it all? Given the amount of waiting I do, should I be seeing the “waiting” as my life? Or perhaps this is my calling? Maybe I was BORN to wait? Given I was a waitress as a teenager and young adult and in fact quite enjoyed waiting on people, maybe this is the case.

Given I live with type 1 diabetes and spend hours and hours of my life waiting for results on blood glucose machines, waiting for my blood glucose to go up when low, go down when high, for my insulin pump to need changing, for doctor’s appointments, in doctor’s rooms, for the complications to set in, to get worse, for my diabetes to be quiet and GIVE ME A BREAK….I am thinking that perhaps, yes, waiting is what life is all about.

So here is my challenge. I am going to see waiting as an opportunity, not a pain in the arse. Instead of feeling rushed, stressed, impatient – each time I have to wait, for whatever it is – I am going to say “Waiting is my life. This is what it is all about. This is not the in between stuff, this is it” and I am going to damn well like it.

Oh, except the waiting for a cure bit – that bit I think I am a little bit over. 33 years is a very long time to wait and I am not sure anyone would stay in line for that long.

Happy waiting.

 

 

9 Comments

  1. Helene Wild on January 16, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    hhhmmmm…so long as you know you are waiting, you are alive: only that mindless pointless waiting, that’s like being buried alive-sounds like many of the things you have to wait for are worth waiting for. Life is a Journey not an end point- we know the end point, enjoy the journey. Music, breathing, thinking, cuppa teas, Radio National, remembering, drawing, painting, washing the floor- mindfulness is all.

    • Helen Edwards on January 16, 2012 at 8:12 pm

      totally agree! mindfulness of waiting πŸ™‚

  2. Jaimie on January 17, 2012 at 8:33 am

    I absolutely love this post Helen and really needed to read it today~!

    • Helen Edwards on January 17, 2012 at 9:28 am

      Hi Jaimie – thanks so much for the comment. It is lovely to know that people find our words helpful isn’t it! Looking forward to sharing more and hoping you have a wonderful day πŸ™‚

  3. losingthesagebrushsea on January 28, 2012 at 3:25 am

    Are there no diabetics out there that do not wait for a cure? To me, it’s like spending one’s whole life waiting for something that most likely will not happen in the near future. I just don’t understand the point. LIving one’s life as it is now and accepting that this is reality seems more appropriate. I have friends who spend their time hoping something will come along and “fix” their lives and make things better. Unfortunately, this hope is an anchor–it drags them down not lifts them up. And I tend to view the hoping for a cure for diabetes the same way. Life is what you have, here and now. Am I alone in this belief?

    • Helen Edwards on January 28, 2012 at 8:19 am

      Hi. great comment and no you are not alone. That is exactly how I feel. Life is here and now. And thats why I am not waiting for a cure.

      • losingthesagebrushsea on January 28, 2012 at 9:35 am

        I am really happy there’s someone else who feels this way! Thanks for letting me know.

  4. Rachel Lamb on May 18, 2012 at 3:05 am

    As they say – life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain πŸ™‚ And my gosh, diabetes brings a lot of “rain” – dancing despite it, or even in spite of it!, is the only way I can cope without letting it bring me down. Living in the moment and finding the joy within them. Love your blogs!

    • Helen Edwards on May 18, 2012 at 7:44 am

      Hi Rachel thanks for reading and posting that beautiful comment – I love dancing in the rain πŸ™‚

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